I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June of 2022. In August of 2022 I had a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. 

 

At the time of my diagnosis I knew a few things. I knew I wanted:

 

  1. To be healthy, both physically and emotionally.

  2. To nurture and cultivate my relationship with my husband.

  3. To enjoying my children as they moved from their teen years into adulthood.

  4. To live long enough to meet my grandchildren was my ultimate dream. 

 

What I didn't know was if that was the plan for me. 

 

I was scared, tired and overwhelmed. My therapist reminded me that while I had no control of the situation I could control my reaction to the situation. So I started working on my reaction and it helped me get through some really hard times. The pages below are my story.

 

I hope my journey can help you on your journey.

 

Start HERE.

<light airy voice> “It’s cancer.”

<deep elizabeth holmes voice> “It’s cancer.”

<shrill panicked voice> “I HAVE cancer.”

<calm professional voice> “I have cancer.”

 

I rolled these words around in my head for weeks. Then for months. In all my different voices. Calm professional voice ultimately won out (mostly).

 

Initially it was really hard to say it out loud. To my husband, my kids, my parents, my family and my friends who are family. It became easier with practice.

 

I led with the good stuff. 

 

"We caught it early - stage 0. It’s teeny tiny. Non-invasive. It’s curable. I’m feeling hopeful. I’m going to be fine." 

 

Then I layered in the tactical detail. 

 

"Ash and the kids are super supportive and loving. We have a plan. We are working our plan each and every minute of each and every day."

 

Neuroscience has proven that positive focus is tied to positive outcomes and we have embraced that wholeheartedly.

 

Laughter is healing. We have started watching old episodes of Modern Family after dinner and giggling together. I can’t even with Cam! Our 21 yo searches YouTube clips of Cam's antics and we laugh extra. 

 

I’m walking miles and miles and miles each day, drinking lots of water, eating healthy and doing tons of yoga, deep breathing, and meditation.

 

I’m having a double mastectomy and reconstruction this Thursday August 18th 2022. 

 

I’ll be out of work for a minute. We will kennel the dogs, amp up the meal delivery and the cleaning services. 

 

My mom is here. My brother is on his way. My dad will be here soon. 

 

We’ve got this.

 

I’m thankful to have health insurance and work for a company that is supportive when life takes these unexpected turns. So many people in our country don’t have these basic human rights on their side. I recognize the place of privilege and bountiful resources that I stand in as I navigate this. 

 

When I share this news, people want to know what they can do to help. I’ve got 2 things for you.

 

 

1) Please get very serious about knowing your risk factors and getting the preventative screenings that are right for you. Don’t delay. 

2) Start talking to the people you love about doing the same.

 

Preventative healthcare saves lives. Let’s make sure everyone around us is up to date on their preventative care.

I am still actively trying to figure out what normal looks like for me.

I am: Being gentle with myself. Giving myself grace. Finding new normals.